Meeting the man of your dreams, falling in love, living happily ever after – it’s what you’ve wished for since you were a little girl. Now that you’re all grown up, you’re finally ready to live that ultimate romantic fantasy with the perfect man who has fallen madly in love with you.
But for whatever reason, with life’s ample twists and turns and detours, he hasn’t made his appearance in your life yet. Perhaps there have been other relationships, other men that weren’t quite right for you. Maybe there was someone that you thought was The One, but for one reason or another it didn’t work out quite like you’d hoped. It’s easy to become discouraged and think that love has passed you by, that it’s never going to happen. But that’s not true! The love of your life is still out there, ready to come into your life at just the right moment.
So how do we find this elusive Mr. Right? The first step may sound counterintuitive.
Don’t go looking for him. Concentrate on you instead.
“Your task is not to seek love, but to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
Learn how to love yourself. Be honest with yourself about what makes you uniquely you, and learn to accept both your good qualities and your flaws. Focus on simply being happy, without needing anyone else’s approval. People are attracted to happiness, confidence, and positivity; when you feel good about yourself, you become more approachable. People will be drawn to you – the right kind of people; this opens yourself up to more possibilities for finding lasting love. Let your inner light shine through and you’ll see that Mr. Right won’t be far behind.
When someone special does come into your life – and he will – possessing the ability to love yourself is a key part of being in a relationship. You need to be able to love and accept who you are in order to be capable of receiving love from another. Once you learn what things about yourself are worth loving, you will begin to see how someone else can too.
“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and let it come in.”
– Morrie Schwartz
For some of us, allowing ourselves to be loved is the hardest, most frightening thing of all. Accepting affection, caring words, loving gestures, support and appreciation at face value can be difficult – it’s hard to believe that it’s real. When you’ve been hurt before, lied to, put down, conditioned to believe that you’re not worthy of being loved by anyone, you inevitably become guarded. Having someone treat you well and offer you their love makes you automatically wary. You question their motives. You fear that someday they will hurt you or reject you; that you aren’t good enough, aren’t deserving of love. You are afraid that maybe you aren’t capable of loving them back.
This makes it hard to accept love. As a result, oftentimes we close ourselves off to it. We push it away. We fight against it, sometimes without even realizing what we are doing. And in doing so we can drive away the people closest to us, including the person who could be the great love of our life.
Having a lasting relationship with the perfect person for you means letting go of the negative preconceptions you have of yourself and of others. Let go of your anxieties about why he’s with you, about whether he’s going to leave. Let go of your expectations of being hurt, of it all ending someday. Forget all of that and focus on the present, on his words and his actions, and have a little faith that his love is true.
Because you are worthy of love. You deserve to have it in your life. And it can and will happen for you if you let it.
“Love can only be found through the act of loving.”
– Paulo Coelho
Finding your perfect match will only be possible if you can first embrace self-love and self-acceptance, making you stronger and happier in your own skin whether you’re in or out of a relationship. Let love in, accept love by letting go of your fears. Once you can open your heart to someone, loving them for both their positive qualities and their flaws – and then let them love you for the same reasons – you will open the door for Mr. Right to come along and sweep you off your feet towards your own happily ever after.